A look at TV in early 2009

Sorry there have not been many posts lately. I have been too busy to go out to the movies lately, and as many of you know nothing is on tv at the moment.

A few of my favorite premium channel shows like "True Blood", "Dexter", and "Entourage" won't be coming back till late summer or fall. My favorite comedy series "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" won't be returning till next year. A few of my other favorites like "Heroes" and "Gossip Girl" are out for another week or so.

A few old favorites are coming back again for another season in a few weeks. I can't wait to see new episodes of "The Tudors", "Big Love", and "Lost". Hell I'll even admit it I am excited to watch the first few episodes of "American Idol" so I can watch as they weed through the really horrible crazy people.

Yet there are some brand new shows to look forward to.

On showtime there is a very promising show called "United States of Tara." It's written by Diablo Cody (best known as the writer of "Juno")and from what I have read seems to be a very quirky and fun show. It's about a woman with multiple personality disorder, although it is a highly controversial diagnosis it does make for some great tv. I fully intend to watch it when it premiers on January 18th.

Before I list any other descriptions for the next show on my list just let me say this, Joss Whedon. Really that alone should have been enough to sell you on the idea of "Dollhouse". The premise sounds a bit stupid, it's about people with altered DNA who have their memories regularly wiped clean or imprinted with false memories so that they an complete tasks. It's sounds a bit close to the current show "My Own Worst Enemy" but I trust that anything put out by Whedon will have excellent writing, unlike "My own Worst Enemy." But really who would think that a space western, a show about a cheerleader fighting vampires, or a musical about super villains could be good. I have faith in Joss Whedon, I will see anything he makes. "Dollhouse" premiers February 13th.


NBC is putting out a show called "Kings" a modern day retelling of the story of King David. I don't know, I mean I already know it's good story but I'm not sure how it will translate. Honestly from the trailer it looks like they are taking this show a bit too seriously, I mean obviously it's a serious drama but I get the feeling that they are going to get pretty pretentious with this one. I have a personal pet peve with any movie or show that takes itself too seriously, any show that sets out thinking it is the best show ever created or that it is a show that will change lives (excluding shows like Extreme Home Makeover where they actually do change lives)automatically has me annoyed. We shall have to see how it turns out. It won't be out until March 19th, but It seems epic enough to attempt watching it.

None of the other upcoming new shows seemed to impress me enough to temp me into watching.

I think "Harpers Isand" could be kind of a fun show because it's essentially a horror tv show. One of the characters gets killed off each week. If they add the right amount of cheesiness into this show it could end up being quite enjoyable. Of course it could also be terrible.

"Cupid" has a cute romantic premise about a man who thinks he is cupid. Experience tells me that cute romantic shows never last. Even very well done ones like "Pushing Daisies" never get the ratings necessary for a show to stick around.

"Castle" and "The Unusuals" are both shows dealing with the NYPD. I don't know about you but I am sick of shows about crime scenes and courtrooms. They may be good shows, they may gain an audience but I for one am sick of the whole cop genre. "The Beast" is also a show about cops, the twist they are undercover cops. Even the promise of former underwear model Travis Fimmel, and Patrick Swayze is not enough to get me to watch something with cops in it. Oh crap there is another one isn't there. I also forgot that "Flashpoint" was coming out, that's a show about SWAT teams. Enough with the cop genre already!

The advertisements for "Trust me" are a tedious and boring attempt at humor, how can I expect the real show to be any different.

I would rather gnaw off my own arm then watch "Howdie Do It" a lame ass spin on traditional prank shows. I don't find Howie Mandel to be funny in the first place, and the commercials don't make the show look all that good. His big prank seems to be pretending to be a waiter who sticks his fingers in people foods. ZOMG that is so original and hilarious listen through the thick coating of sarcasm you may actually hear me laughing on the inside.

I'm sure there are a lot of shows that I missed, but honestly I don't see too many winners out of this bunch. Then again I always hated "Everybody Loves Raymond" and that ran for years, so who knows there is really no accounting for taste.

RIP Eartha Kitt

What can I say I love Eartha Kitt. Obviously I never met the woman but I always wished that I could have been more like her. She was always sexy, classy mysterious, and cool on a level that I can never hope to achieve.

Most know her as the second Catwoman from the beautifully campy TV series "Batman" or perhaps you know her as the voice of Yzma in "The Emperors New Groove." Her voice is better known then her acting she lent her vocals to the Christmas classic "Santa Baby" and to a number of other wonderful songs.



She will be missed, but her impact will always be around.

Last minute gift ideas for film snobs!

Ok Christmas is swiftly approaching, and I'm beting there are a lot of slackers like me who have yet to do their Christmas shopping yet. I am going to suggest a few gifts in different price ranges for different types of film nerds and enthusiasts. Remember while a cinemaphile always appreciates a new dvd to add to the collection, that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to gifts.

The Cheap Stuff Gifts for about $10 and under

For a really cheap gift go around to local video rental stores, if possible hit the stores that aren't part of some big corporation. A lot of them give away movie posters or other promotional items (cut outs ect) for free. It may take some searching and haggling but sometimes you walk away with some really good stuff.

If you have a video camera make a video tribute to your friend and post it on youtube. It could be something silly like you dancing and singing to a favorite song of theirs. You could get friends and reenact a scene from one of their favorite movies. Or you could do something stupid involving fire or being hit in the nuts that will guarantee a viral video and dedicate it to them , just don't actually hurt yourself or do anything too stupid.

Here is an awesome example of a silly video some guy made for his girlfriend. It's very low production quality, very simple premise, and extremely silly. However there is no doubt in my mind that his girlfriend smiled when she got this. I would like to make this clear right now, I don't know who the heck this guy is. I found it because it's the top youtube search result for one of my favorite songs. He would probably be embarrassed to have this posted around by a complete stranger, but he allowed for embedding so I have to assume he is ok with it. But it gives you a good idea of what a gift video should look like.



Books are another good cheap way to go as far as gifts are concerned. If you go to your local bookstore you are bound to find a few books about film. There are reprinted scripts, books about production, books on theory, and my favorite books about directors. If you don't feel like browsing around then I recomend going with
"The Film Snobs Dictionary: An Essential Lexicon of Filmological Knowledge"
by David Kamp and Lawrence Leviretails $10 new

For the Budding Film Maker

As a film maker you can never have enough tape to work with. Sometimes a simple practical gift is the most appreciated. Get them some mini DV tapes you can get a pack of two for somewhere between $15-20 at most retailers. Something as simple as another tape will allow a director to take more shots and take more chances with their work.

Another great idea is getting a shirt (they make other items too) from http://www.filmmakergear.com/
They have some hilarious shirts all specific to the film making world. whats even cooler is that it's not just for directors they have shirts specific to DP's, sounds guys, and editors. Their shirts range from $13-$22

Build them a Steadycam for about $15
here is the site that tells you how to do it. http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~johnny/steadycam/

For the General Film Fan

A gift subscription to netflix is always a good choice. You can get someone a very cheap two month, one movie a month subscription for $10. Naturally you can keep building up from that point. As an added bonus if you order between now and the 29th netflix is donating %5 of the profits from each gift subscription to Feeding America.

You can also give gift certificates to Fandango, allowing your friend or loved one to get movie tickets to almost any movie theater they want. As an added bonus they can do this all through email, you never even have to leave the house and your gift will get to them on time.

For the Big Spender

For somewhere between $100 and well above you can get them a VHS to DVD burner, and let them transfer all their old tapes onto something a little more modern.

Final Cut Studio 2 offers the budding film maker just about everything they need for post editing. It is priced at $1,299 but it is the best software available to non professionals. Not to mention there are a lot of film makers using pirated software due to the prohibitively expensive cost of video editing software, can you really put a price on keeping a loved one out of jail?

Finally for the Star Wars fan an opportunity to kick George Lucas in the balls. Now I have no idea how much you would have to pay him in order for him to agree to this, but everyone has their price. Giving someone the opportunity to kick George Lucas in the balls, punch him in the face, or perhaps simply the opportunity to yell obscene things at Skywalker ranch for a bit is the type of thing that a Star Wars or Indiana Jones fan would treasure forever.

I hope this helps make gift giving a bit easier.

Happy Holidays or lack there of!

Christmas Movies that I don't hate

Most of the time I save my holiday specials till the day of the actual event, yet for Christmas I found I had to do something different. Right now it seems like a lot of places are playing an almost constant stream of Christmas movies, and that would be all well and good if they were bothering to play halfway decent movies, but they are not.

I thought it would be fun to sit all the way through one of these Lifetime, Hallmark, or ABC family specials just to write a scathing review, but I couldn't even sit though them. During this season it's ok for things to be a bit sappy, we all want to see the couple get together in the end or see a family come back together but bad Christmas movies take it to an extreme. At the same time I don't want to see familys that are suffering too much, I don't want to see depressing movies, and I don't want to see things that are too far fetched.

In a veritable sea of bad Christmas movies I felt it my duty to point out that there are some good Christmas movies. You can have a movie that is sentimental without being maudlin, you can have a movie be funny without it being stupid, and you can have something that is actually fun for the whole family to watch. The list I have provided you with should safely guide you through the holiday season, without having to watch something awful.

I present to you a list of my favorite Christmas movies.

First and foremost there are fantastic Christmas classics that never get old. I'm not even going to bother writing descriptions here, if you have never seen these you need to get out and do so immediately.

"White Christmas." skip this only if you can't stand musicals.
"Miracle on 34th Street" (1947)
"It's a Wonderful Life"
"A Christmas Story" ok so this ones more of a modern Christmas Classic, but I feel it's going to stand the test of time.

A Christmas movie for the Kids

"A Muppet Christmas Carol"
The title realy says it all. You have Charles Dickens classic story A Christmas Carol, interpreted with the humor of the muppets. I loved it when I was a kid and I still think it's funny.

Family Friendly Christmas Comedy

"Christmas Vacation"

It is the quintessential tale of what happens when everything that can possibly go wrong at Christmas goes wrong. There are crazy relatives, a father that is way too overzealous in his decorating plans, trouble with the boss from work, and a few issues with wild animals. It is hands down my favorite of the "Vacation" series with Chevy Chase. This is the movie to watch if you have to deal with a crazy family this season.

"Elf"

Ok, ok so most people have seen this one it came out fairly recently. But it doesn't mean that it's not a good movie. Will Farrell is adorable in this movie, as a man who grew up thinking he was an elf. Buddy goes off to the US in search of his true identity. It's a really sweet and enjoyable story, but it managed to keep from getting overly sentimental. It's kind of goofy but it will definitely make you feel the Christmas Spirit.

The Christmas Romantic Comedies

"All I Want for Christmas"

This is the story of two kids who wand to get their divorced parents back together for Christmas. I know I know it sounds like one of the sappy lifetime movies, but it's very well done. The kids cook up a crazy plot, hilarity ensues, and in the end everyone wins. It has a really great cast featuring a young Thora Birch, Ethan Embry (that kid from Dutch), Kevin Nealon as the unlikeable man the mother is currently engaged to, and the always fabulous Lauren Bacall.

"Love Actually"

A bunch of intertwining love stories set around Christmas time. It's a cute movie with a phenomenal cast. Most of you have heard of it or even seen it, but as far as romantic Christmas movies go this is as good as it gets.

Also keep an eye on Hugh Grants tie during a scene where he is dancing around, it's the same color but they purposely changed the pattern in each shot.

If you feel like laughing at a Christmas Movie not with it.

"Babes in Toyland" (1986 version)

Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore in a crappy made for tv Christmas movie, thats right it actually exists. A young Drew Barrymore gets into a car accident and is taken away to Toyland where she has to stop an arranged marriage between Mary Contrary and the evil Barnaby Barnacle. naturally Mary Contrary's true love is Jack Be Nimble played by Keanu. Oh did I forget to mention that they meet Santa, who is played by Pat Morita aka Mr Miyagi. There are some slightly catchy songs, but overall this is a pretty terrible movie. Oh did I fail to mention this was also a musical.

This movie has gone so far wrong that it is actually kind of enjoyable to watch. I put this here for people who like to make fun of bad movies, but still wanted to feel the Christmas Spirit. I recommend loading up on eggnog before attempting to watch Babes in Toyland.

Here is a Trailer to give you a better idea of what "Babes in Toyland" is about.

1001Movies to see before you die

I didn't make up the list. I don't really have the time for that sort of thing, and naturally I would have made some different choices.

Here is the link http://1001beforeyoudie.com/

I only got about 182 out of 1001, I better get crackin. There are a bunch of movies that I have seen parts of, but I only counted movies that I had seen from beginning to end.

A lot of their choices are significant but things I kind of wished I hadn't wasted an hour of my life seeing.

"White Balloon" and "L'Atalante" are two of my least favorite films of all times.

Some of the movies on the list are things I can't bring myself to watch for one reason or another.

"Audition" and "The Exorcist" are movies that look way too scary for me to even consider watching

And some movies like "The Sweet Hereafter" (which is about a town dealing with the loss of many children in a horrible bus accident) just look too damn depressing to watch.

All the same I want to see a lot more films on that list.

Heroes "Dual"

The mid-season finale starts out with an amazing monologue given by Syler. Much like the name of the episode it is about the Dual nature of the world. Right vs wrong, good vs evil, science vs destiny. It was chilling to hear a lovely rant about the nature of the world coming from the lips of a serial killer. In other words it was awesome.

This was the end of the chapter, the end of an era. "Villains" is no more and "Fugitives" begins. But I suppose I am getting ahead of myself.

Highlight the rest to read the spoiler laden review. But for those who don't want spoilers allow me to say this, it was one of the best shows heroes has had this season. Lot's of twists and turns, emotional stuff, and finally we can see where the plot is going.

The story begins with Peter looking distraught standing near his fathers body. Nathan shows up and there is this minute where you almost see their entire relationship dissolve. Nathan plays the hero a lot, but you can't forget how he described himself in the first season, the man is a shark. He is cold and ruthless, quite frankly I wish Peter would have shot him. Naturally, Peter being the good guy that he his would never be able to do that to his own brother. Peter just punches him, leaving his brother poised to wake up at a very inconvenient moment.

Meantime at Primatech it appears as if Syler finally got around to watching some horror films, and picked up a couple of ideas from "SAW." A group of people locked in a poorly lit, almost abandoned building, with a serial killer who keeps toying with them at every stage. It's not exactly original, but it's damn effective. Syler does lots of bad things while trying to work out his mommy issues, and seems to be really picking on Claire. In some strange way he identifies with her, he even goes on an EMO rant about how they can never be hurt but they can be heart broken

*Emo Tear*

All joking aside it is pretty creepy. Syler knows how to play to each persons weakness. Well all except Angela, that woman may not have a weakness.He keeps tempting each character trying to get them to turn against each other, in so many ways trying to prove that anyone could be as bad as he is. Or perhaps maybe he was trying to prove to himself that he is not such a terrible monster. He leaves quite a death toll: a few guards, the puppetmaster, Meredith, Echo, and probably someone else too. The big points go to Claire for stabbing Syler in the back of the head with some glass, though it remains to be seen if he died or not. Did I mention there was an explosion.

Onto another story. Hiro is stuck in the past without his powers. Ando, Matt, and Daphne come up with a plan. Daphne will steal the serum and give it to Ando in the hopes that he will develop a time traveling power. Their reasoning is that Matt always wanted to know what other people are thinking, and Daphne who was crippled wished that she could run, so perhaps people get their powers based on what they truly desire. Yet when Ando takes the serum he does not end up with the powers he wanted. I seems as if another fan thoery may be at play here, some believe that people get their powers based on their personality. Ando gives this theory great credence. Ando, already everyone's favorite sidekick gets a power that truly makes him the best sidekick ever he has the power to enhance other peoples powers. He is able to enhance Daphne's speed enough that they are able to time travel and get Hiro.

There is another thing that is important to note about Ando's powers. Remember all the way back at the very beginning of this season Hiro time travels to the future and sees Ando shooting him with red sparks. Hiro assumes that this is Ando trying to kill him but this may not be the case. Ando's red spark power seems to enhance a persons power, maybe he just gave heey really want in life. It's a theory I have seen on the forums before, and perhaps it is still true. Ando focuses on getting a time traveling power, but he ends up with something else. One fan theory is that people get powers based on their personality's, and what happens to ro a jolt but I somehow doubt that the power is fatal. I really hope that this is the case, while the two may argue sometimes I know that Ando could never betray Hiro.

Oh yea back to what happens with Peter and Nathan. Peter goes to wreck the lab and get rid of the serum, he gets unexpected help from the "Villains" Flint and Knox. Mohinder gets hit with enough serum that it seems to make his icky skin condition go away, and the Mohinder fangirls rejoiced. Some people die and there is an explosion. Just before the whole place goes up Peter injects himself with the serum, and takes Nathans flying power and zooms himself and his brother out of the place just in the nick of time.

Thus begins the new chapter

Sadly Nathan continues to be a douchebag. He tells the government about the existence of "dangerous" people with powers. Provides lists to the government, and from the preview it looked like some serious Guantanamo Bay torture shit was happening.

There was this one haunting and incredibly powerful image in the preview of the next chapter. It was of prisoners in their orange uniforms, chained up, and with bags covering their heads. As they sat chained together unable to speak you could see them holding hands in solidarity.

I don't want to see this happen to the characters, but I see this as a necessary step in several directions. For one the future is a very difficult thing to change, since season one there have been visions of heroes being hunted down by the government. Eventually they had to address the issue, this time it's not about saving the world it's about saving themselves.

Perhaps more importantly this new "Fugitives" chapter allows the creators to say a lot about political issues currently facing the world, or situations which have happened before. It seems like the heroes are being rounded up into camps similar to that of Nazi Germany, and the scenes of prisoners with bags over their heads was reminiscent of those taken at Abu Ghraib. I'm expecting issues of discrimination, torture, and even terrorism to be brought up in the next chapter. One of the reasons why Sci-Fi is such an important genre is that it can create worlds that allow us to better examine our own political structures and moral issues.

Allow me to make a prediction. I'm expecting the show to take a dramatic turn, I think the next chapter will actually be a lot darker then "Villains". However, with the new writers on board, and much of the time travel issues gone I expect "Fugitives" to be a great improvement on the current season.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

You know how a bunch of commercials said "Come to War of the Worlds the only place to see the new trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine" well they lied.



Are X-men movies the best forms of cinema, no.
Will they ever win Oscars (for anything but special effects or makeup), no
Are they entertaining as heck, yes.

Sometimes you just need something that you don't have to think too hard about, and this looks like a very fun movie. Some of the stunts look way over the top, but that's not necessarily a bad thing in superhero movies.

I have to say the casting choice of Ryan Reynolds for Deadpool is brilliant. He can determinately carry off a role as an action hero, and he brings the right amount of sarcasm and charm necessary to pull of a character who is can break the fourth wall.

Another note on casting. Josh Holloway was offered the role of Gambit but he refused, saying that it was too close to his character Sawyer. I can't argue with his logic on that one, but I really wish he was playing gambit. I mean the man was kind of born to play that role.

Cencorship part 2 : Electric Boogaloo

A few days ago I was watching "Kill Bill" on a regular cable network. As expected some things had to be taken out in order for it to be shown. Naturally some of the violence was toned down we didn't get to see O-Ren Ishii's brains, nor did we Elle Drivers eyeball after it was ripped out of her head. The movie was still pretty darn violent, and for the most part I agreed that some of the things they cut out in terms of violence made sense.

What was removed in terms of language puzzled me a bit.

I expected that they would have to change the name of the Bride stolen truck, "Pussy Wagon" to something less offensive, "Party Wagon wasn't a terrible choice in terms of substitution. They also decided to use "Party" as a substitution for the F word in several situations, most notably "Hi, my name is Buck and I'm here to Party." The substitution stole all the punch from that line. I think it would have been a lot better if they changed his name to fit the substituted line better. "Hi, My name is Marty and I'm here to Party." has more of a funny sleazy ring to it.

But enough with that and onto the man bizarre change in language. At the very end when The Bride kill's Bill (OMG spoilers!)there is a conversation about the technique used to kill Bill, and where she learned it. In true Quentin Tarentino fashion he gives Bill one of the coolest lines in either film.

"No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real cunt."

It sums up everything about their relationship, and the kind of people they are. But naturally the dreaded "c" word can't be used on television. It's hard to find a word quite as abrasive and evocative as the "C" word, especially since it has to still pass censorship standards. All the same I think they could have done a bit better then what they came up with.

"No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real fathead."

Fathead? Really? I mean I was thinking Jerk or bitch might have made some sense. I have never heard the term Fat Head used as an actual insult, that was not referring to someone with an abnormally sized noggin like John Travolta.

Fathead doesn't even have the humorous ring to it like Mellon Farmer. I mean if you can't just bleep it out I say go for the comedy. Try harder TNT try harder, your censorship is just not adding enough Drama or Comedy.

Golden Globe Nominees 2009, Predictions, rants, and raves.

You can see the official list here http://www.goldenglobes.org/news/id/104, or you could just look below and see the exact thing copied, pasted and commented on.

1. BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

a. THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
This movie hasn't even come out yet for us proles. So I can't even feel bad about not having an opinion, although it looks good I do want to see it.
b. FROST/NIXON
Um this also hasn't come out yet to anyone but film critics.
c. THE READER
This one doesn't even get released till January WTF?
d. REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
Also does not come out till January
e. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
At last a nominee that has actually been released in theaters for people other then critics. Sadly I haven't seen it yet.

My Thoughts on this Category: I have this weird feeling it's all a big marketing scheme. They won't release the movies till there is a lot of buzz about them. I don't know, this certainly isn't the peoples choice awards but it would be nice to have movies the general population may have actually seen.

2. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

a. ANNE HATHAWAY – RACHEL GETTING MARRIED
Haven't seen it yet. But I do like Ms Hathaway's other work, and I'm glad to see her in a movie that is getting some recognition.
b. ANGELINA JOLIE – CHANGELING
This movie looks way too upsetting for me to see.
c. MERYL STREEP – DOUBT
Also looks like a good movie, and Meryl Streep is a fantastic actress. But as a Catholic I'm not sure I want to see this movie.
d. KRISTIN SCOTT THOMAS – I'VE LOVED YOU SO LONG (IL Y A LONGTEMPS QUE JE T’AIME)
Never even heard of this movie before today
e. KATE WINSLET – REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
I love Kate Winslet. I can't comment on anything else really. Revolutionary road seems to be about a 50's couple who is deeply disastified with American suburban life. Looks like a pretty intense movie.

My Thoughts on This Category: Lots of talented women, in movies I don't want to watch because they seem too depressing. So essentially it's exactly what I would expect.

3. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA

a. LEONARDO DICAPRIO – REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
Again he is a good actor
b. FRANK LANGELLA – FROST/NIXON
Um... looks like a cool movie.
c. SEAN PENN – MILK
Lot's of buzz about this performance. It has all the ingrediaents to be the winner of this category controversial subject, great actor, a heroic character taken from real life, and a character that is gay. I'm betting Sean Penn takes this category.
d. BRAD PITT – THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
I'm kind of rooting for Brad Pitt here. The man is a really great actor, but his talent always seems to be overshadowed by his looks. Yet I haven't seen the movie so I can't judge.
e. MICKEY ROURKE – THE WRESTLER
Micky Rourke scares me, I can't look directly at his face. The man has had too much plastic surgery. I haven't seen the movie but I would call him the underdog of this category.

4. BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. BURN AFTER READING
Havn't seen this but I really wanted to.
b. HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
Never heard of this so I couldn't see it.
c. IN BRUGES
I know nothing about this movie.
d. MAMMA MIA!
You have to love a movie that came out with a sing along version in theaters. I havn't seen the movie, but I do love Abba
e. VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
Havn't seen it Javier Bardem scares me

My Comments on this Category: I always find it strange that the movies in this category are rarely the ones that made us laugh the hardest. They are the most critically acclaimed movies that can still be considered comedy. To be fair I haven't seen any of these but I would have likes to see "Tropic Thunder" up here.

5.BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. REBECCA HALL – VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
Never heard of her, can't have an opinion
b. SALLY HAWKINS – HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
Dito
c. FRANCES MCDORMAND – BURN AFTER READING
I love Frances McDormand
d. MERYL STREEP – MAMMA MIA!
I love Meryl Streep
e. EMMA THOMPSON – LAST CHANCE HARVEY
I love Emma Thompson

My Comments on this Category: Really I would be happy for anyone. I love it when a complete unknown takes away a big award, and I would also love it if one of my favorite actresses walked away with it.

6. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. JAVIER BARDEM – VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
He looks like a caveman, he does not get my vote in any movie where he is not killing people
b. COLIN FARRELL – IN BRUGES
Havn't seen it but I like Colin Farrell, and it's great to know he was in something other then a crappy action film.
c. JAMES FRANCO – PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
I was surprised to see his name here, "Pineapple Express" is not the type of movie they usually honor. In other words I am rooting for him. He was hilarious in Pineapple Express.
d. BRENDAN GLEESON – IN BRUGES
Don't know him Haven't seen it.
e. DUSTIN HOFFMAN – LAST CHANCE HARVEY
Dustin Hoffman is one of the greats, so I wouldn't be surprised if he gave an awesome performance in this. But again I haven't seen it so I have no clue.

My Comments on this Category: Go James Franco! Prove to the world that the stoner comedy is a legit genre, and that it can win awards. Sadly I don't think it will go to him.

7. BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

a. BOLT
I refuse to see anything related to Miley Cyrus
b. KUNG FU PANDA
It was a very cute movie I liked it a lot, but traditionally Disney takes this award.
c. WALL-E
The concept of a robot love story seemed kind of weird to me. So did the idea of a childrens film about the Earth becoming a giant wasteland so utterly ruined that humans had to leave, humans live on in space as fat and stupid creatures so devoid of personality that machines are the only things worth watching. I know I know I'm being harsh, I'll watch it when it comes on TV. I'm sure it's a very cute and lovely story, but I just don't like the premise.

My comments: "Go Kung Fu Panda"! Congratulations to "WALL-E" for winning

8. BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

a. THE BAADER MEINHOF COMPLEX (GERMANY)
(DER BAADER MEINHOF KOMPLEX)
b. EVERLASTING MOMENTS (SWEDEN/DENMARK)
(MARIA LARSSONS EVIGA ÖGONBLICK)
c. GOMORRAH (ITALY)
(GOMORRA)
d. I'VE LOVED YOU SO LONG (FRANCE)
(IL Y A LONGTEMPS QUE JE T’AIME)
e. WALTZ WITH BASHIR (ISRAEL)

My Comments on this category: I havn't seen or heard of any of these so I can't comment, sorry.

9. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
a. AMY ADAMS – DOUBT
Love Amy Adams, she seems so cheery she would make an awesome nun.
b. PENELOPE CRUZ – VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
No opinion
c. VIOLA DAVIS –DOUBT
Don't know her or the film
d. MARISA TOMEI – THE WRESTLER
Love Marisa Tomei, don't know much about the film.
e. KATE WINSLET – THE READER
Love Kate Winslet

My Comments on this category: I'm rooting for Amy Adams, Marisa Tomei, and Kate Winslet for no particular reason.

10. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

a. TOM CRUISE – TROPIC THUNDER
He totally stole the show in every scene he was in. Normally I find Tom Cruise kind of annoying but he was hilarious in this.
b. ROBERT DOWNEY JR. –TROPIC THUNDER
A great performance. Can we just step back and appreciate the sheer balls it takes to be a white actor who performs as a white actor playing a black man. He did it, and he did it so well that no angry mops came after him with pitch forks. Thats saying something.
c. RALPH FIENNES – THE DUCHESS
Great actor but I haven't seen it.
d. PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN – DOUBT
I love Philip Seymour Hoffman but I can't seem to make myself root for someone who is probably playing a pedophile.
e. HEATH LEDGER – THE DARK KNIGHT
Ok, this is hands down the man I want to win. Not because he is dead, it's because he absolutely deserves it. No one else could have given this performance he was fearless, terrifying, yet utterly captivating in this role.

My Comments on this Category: I will be angry if anyone but Heath Ledger wins this.

11. BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE

a. DANNY BOYLE – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
b. STEPHEN DALDRY – THE READER
c. DAVID FINCHER – THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
d. RON HOWARD – FROST/NIXON
e. SAM MENDES – REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

My Comments: Haven't any of these can't judge how they did. I was able to judge more with acting categories because Actors tend to give far more reliable performances then directors. After all who would believe that the man who created a masterpiece like "Schindlers List" was also capable of creating a giant pile of crap like "Indiana Jones Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." A directors style can vary drastically depending on the story they are set to tell, so I'll hold my judgment on this one.

12. BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE

a. SIMON BEAUFOY – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
b. DAVID HARE – THE READER
c. PETER MORGAN – FROST/NIXON
d. ERIC ROTH – THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN
e. JOHN PATRICK SHANLEY – DOUBT

My Comments on this category: I can't comment.

13. BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE

a. ALEXANDRE DESPLAT –THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
b. CLINT EASTWOOD – CHANGELING
c. JAMES NEWTON HOWARD – DEFIANCE
d. A. R. RAHMAN – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
e. HANS ZIMMER – FROST/NIXON

My Comments on this Category: I can't comment

14. BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE

a. “DOWN TO EARTH” — WALL-E
Music by: Peter Gabriel, Thomas Newman
Lyrics by: Peter Gabriel
b. “GRAN TORINO” — GRAN TORINO
Music by: Clint Eastwood, Jamie Cullum, Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens
Lyrics by: Jamie Cullum
c. “I THOUGHT I LOST YOU” — BOLT
Music & Lyrics by: Miley Cyrus, Jeffrey Steele
d. “ONCE IN A LIFETIME” — CADILLAC RECORDS
Music & Lyrics by: Beyoncé Knowles, Amanda Ghost, Scott McFarnon, Ian Dench, James Dring, Jody Street
e. “THE WRESTLER” — THE WRESTLER
Music & Lyrics by: Bruce Springsteen

My Comments on this Category: A lot of good songs tend to be ignored just because they are in movies that weren't nominated. I consider "Iris" from the City of Angels soundtrack, and the entire score of "Queen of the Damned" not being nominated some of the biggest snubs of all times. While this particular song is nowhere near as good as some songs of years past I think "Little Things" from the Wanted soundtrack should have gotten a nomination

15. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

a. DEXTER (SHOWTIME)
A show about a serial killer killing other killers, brilliant! I love this show, the third season is not as strong as seasons 1 and 2, but all the same it definitely is deserving of this nomination.
b. HOUSE (FOX)
I love House. It's a great show but I don't think it will walk away with the prize this year. It's still great but it's still the same old stuff.
c. IN TREATMENT (HBO)
never heard of it, and I get HBO
d. MAD MEN (AMC)
I keep hearing great reviews but I have yet to meet anyone who actually watches this show.
e. TRUE BLOOD (HBO)
Despite a distinct lack of Bubba, I absolutely love this show.

My Comments on this Category: I'm really rooting for True Blood, it would be great for a new and quirky show like this to get an award.


16. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

a. SALLY FIELD – BROTHERS AND SISTERS
I Don't watch the show
b. MARISKA HARGITAY –LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT
I Don't watch the show
c. JANUARY JONES – MAD MEN
I Don't watch the Show
d. ANNA PAQUIN – TRUE BLOOD
I think Anna Paquin does a really good job of playing a character who appears to be a very simple straightforward southern waitress, but is really quite complicated. I don't think everyone could pull off a role with such a mix of sweetness and strength.
e. KYRA SEDGWICK – THE CLOSER
Hasn't she won enough awards for this role?

My Comments on this Category: Go Sookie, I mean Anna Paquin

17. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA

a. GABRIEL BYRNE – IN TREATMENT
I Don't watch it
b. MICHAEL C. HALL – DEXTER
He makes a sociopathic killer lovable, that deserves an award.
c. JON HAMM – MAD MEN
I don't watch it
d. HUGH LAURIE – HOUSE
Love Hugh Laurie, He was born to play this role.
e. JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS – THE TUDORS
I still think he was a bad casting choice for Henry VIII, but he does a good job of showing how power corrupts a good man.

My Comments on this section: I'm rooting for Micheal C. Hall, but I have a strange feeling the guy from Mad Men will get it. The critics really seem to love that show.

18. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. 30 ROCK (NBC)
It's a decent show but it's not one of my favorites.
b. CALIFORNICATION (SHOWTIME)
No desire to watch this
c. ENTOURAGE (HBO)
I really like this show, thats about all I can say.
d. THE OFFICE (NBC)
I know a lot of people will hate me for this but I don't think The Office is that funny. I hate the type of humor where things are purposely made so embarrassing and awkward that you laugh, it's just not my sense of humor.
e. WEEDS (SHOWTIME)
I like Weeds a lot but honestly this season I feel as if it deserved to be in the Drama category. I laugh at Dexter more then I did at this season of Weeds.

My Comments on this Category: I'm sorry It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia deserves a nomination. It is by far the funniest show on tv. To a casual viewer it may seem pretty lowbrow, but it makes fun of itself constantly and is extremely daring in it's approach to topics. If you haven't seen this show go watch it.

19.BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. CHRISTINA APPLEGATE – SAMANTHA WHO?
b. AMERICA FERRERA – UGLY BETTY
c. TINA FEY – 30 ROCK
d. DEBRA MESSING – THE STARTER WIFE
e. MARY-LOUISE PARKER – WEEDS

My Comments on this Category: I have no clue about who is going to win this one. Nor do I feel like rooting for anyone in particular. The only show I really watch here is Weeds, but I have seen all of these actresses in other things and they are all very capable funny women.

20. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL

a. ALEC BALDWIN – 30 ROCK
b. STEVE CARELL – THE OFFICE
c. KEVIN CONNOLLY – ENTOURAGE
d. DAVID DUCHOVNY – CALIFORNICATION
e. TONY SHALHOUB – MONK

My Comments on this section: Rooting for Alec Baldwin

21. BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

a. A RAISIN IN THE SUN (ABC)
Sony Pictures Television, Storyline Entertainment, and Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment
b. BERNARD AND DORIS (HBO
Trigger Street Independent Productions in association with Little Bird and Chicago Films and HBO Films
c. CRANFORD (PBS)
A Co-Production of BBC and WGBH Boston.
d. JOHN ADAMS (HBO)
Playtone in association with HBO Films
e. RECOUNT (HBO)
Spring Creek/Mirage Productions in association with Trigger Street Productions, Everyman Pictures and HBO Films

My Comments in this Category: Haven't seen any of these

22. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

a. JUDI DENCH – CRANFORD
b. CATHERINE KEENER – AN AMERICAN CRIME
c. LAURA LINNEY – JOHN ADAMS
d. SHIRLEY MACLAINE – COCO CHANEL
e. SUSAN SARANDON – BERNARD AND DORIS


My Comments in this Category: Haven't seen any of these

23. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

a. RALPH FIENNES – BERNARD AND DORIS
b. PAUL GIAMATTI – JOHN ADAMS
c. KEVIN SPACEY – RECOUNT
d. KIEFER SUTHERLAND – 24: REDEMPTION
e. TOM WILKINSON – RECOUNT


My Comments in this Category: Haven't seen any of these

24. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

a. EILEEN ATKINS – CRANFORD
b. LAURA DERN – RECOUNT
c. MELISSA GEORGE – IN TREATMENT
d. RACHEL GRIFFITHS – BROTHERS AND SISTERS
e. DIANNE WIEST – IN TREATMENT


My Comments in this Category: Haven't seen any of these, nor do I know any of the actresses

25. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

a. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS – HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
b. DENIS LEARY – RECOUNT
c. JEREMY PIVEN – ENTOURAGE
He is great but he has won this award for this role too many times, time to pass on the torch.
d. BLAIR UNDERWOOD – IN TREATMENT
e. TOM WILKINSON – JOHN ADAMS

My Comments in this Category: I haven't seen anything but Entourage, but I'm rooting for Neil Patrick Harris because of his Performance in "Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog"

Meaning of 2001 a Space Odyssey

Ok so I will admit, I have seen 2001 twice, and both times I found myself grasping desperately to whatever meaning and symbolism I could find.

I recently Stumbled Upon a site that explains it all. The movie makes so much more sense now. So if your curious and have always wanted to know what the heck ""2001 a Space Odyssey" really means go here.

http://www.kubrick2001.com/

Game

Ok, so I should be writing a serious blog about last nights episode of Heroes, and how god it was. Blabbering on about how emotional it was, and how emotion is what grounds us in stories where unbelievable things happen. And how we are finally getting a better picture of how Pinehurst making a serum which will give anyone powers, could actually end up destroying the world. Oh and there would have been a nice long paragraph about Syler's development as a character.

But I don't feel like it So instead I present to you a game. It says to do 20 of your favorite movies, bu for purposes of simplicity I am only quoting English language movies. I don't want to get into any translation issues here.

A. Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
B. Then pick one of your favorite quotes from each movie.
C. Post the quotes on your blog.
D. Have those on your friends list guess what the movies are. (No cheating!)
E. Strike out the quote once it has been correctly identified and place the guesser's username after the quote.

1.That's just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock.

2. Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and *pissed off*! And I could be very dangerous to all of you! You should know that about me... I am *the enemy*!

3. Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time by moments flabbergasted to be in each others presence.

4.I *am* big. It's the *pictures* that got small.

5. You people. If there isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing, is it?

6. Just look like we are a married couple, *spanning time*!

7. Now, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing.
From "Boondock Saints" Guessed Correctly by Joshua

8.What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?
"From Lord of the Rings" Guessed Correctly by Joshua

9. Ooh, great job man! I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!

10. When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other, that not only does God exist, you're doing His will.

11. We knew the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love, and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.

12. A long time ago, my ancestor Paikea came to this place on the back of a whale. Since then, in every generation of my family, the first born son has carried his name and become the leader of our tribe... until now.

13. You can't really dust for vomit.
Spinal Tap Guessed Correctly by Agent Claudia

14. And so, dear Lord, it is with deep sadness that we turn over to you this young woman, whose dream to ride on a giant swan resulted in her death. Maybe it is your way of telling us... to buy American.

15. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
Snatch Guessed correctly by Agent Claudia

16. Royale with cheese. Do you know why they call it a Royale with cheese?
From "Pulp Fiction" Guessed Correctly by Joshua

17. Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?

18. What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?
"Lost Boys" guessed correctly by Nikoli

19. Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" Guessed Correctly by Nikoli

20. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
"From Monty Python and The Holy Grail" Guessed Correctly by Joshua

Strange Insults

I love Asian Dramas, and I just started watching "Why Why Love" a soap opera from Taiwan.

I don't know if this is a common phrase used in Taiwan, if it was unique to the character, or if it was a weird translation issue.

But the Insult "You're as unrefined as a Vegetable Market!" made me giggle

I'll have to keep an eye out for more weird expressions.

Valkyrie

Here is a fun little spoof which illustrates most of my fears about the movie "Valkyrie" staring Tom Cruise.



The real thing comes out on December 25th, because nothing makes you feel the warmth and joy of the Christmas like a movie about Nazi's.

I'm not even sure I can recommend this as a fun movie for Jewish people to see while everyone else is off celebrating Christmas. I mean maybe they could change things around in the movie to make it seem like the operation was more of a success. During the actual July 20th plot a total of four Nazi's were killed, and five badly injured. Considering that there were about 24 people in the room where a bomb went off, and it barely even injured Hitler, it was kind of a failure. Operation Valkyrie was extremely noble in purpose, and the people who took part in organizing this attempt are heroes even if it didn't go as well as planned. But seriously now, I mean if I was a Jew on Christmas day I wouldn't want to see a movie about Hitler getting a little pissed because a couple of his buddies were killed. No, I would want to see lots of dead Nazi's and a severely injured Hitler crying like a little bitch curled up in the fetal position.

It's entirely possible that they will turn the movie into something with a higher Nazi body count, but who knows if they will be true to history or not. If they do change it, the movie will probably find more of an audience. After Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull severely disappointed me(in so many ways) with a lack of Nazi ass kickings this year someone has step in to fill the quota. While I understand the need to change history a bit for the audience, I'm not sure I like it. Yet we will just have to see the finished product in order to really judge.

I don't know it's just a weird choice of release date of you ask me. I mean don't they normally release happy upbeat things on Christmas Day you know comedy's, kids movies, romantic comedies, you know things like that. I can't seem to remember any big war movies ever coming out on Christmas.

Reality TV a rant

How many time have you found yourself in front of the screen saying "I'm going to go to hell for watching this."

Now when I say hell I don't mean getting hell from your friends for watching such a bad show, or some sort of movie snob hell where you will forever me ridiculed for you poor choice in tv, no I am talking about fire and brimstone H-E-double hockysticks hell.

Some reality shows aren't that bad, point in fact some of them are good both in purpose and content. Shows Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance, and Make Me a Supermodel are well produced and generally manage to keep an interesting story line without using too much overblown scandal. Better yet these are reality shows that are about helping people break into a business, but humiliating people for our own sick enjoyment. Those shows take people who already have talent, provide guidance which has the potential to make them better, and gives all the participants a lot of exposure and creates a lot of job opportunities after the show.

There are the shows that you feel a little guilty for watching. Models get asked to do a lot of weird things for entirely professional reasons. However most have not been forced to work under the strain of Tyra Banks rapidly deteriorating sanity. Some models have been given terrible makeovers.

If you don't believe me check some of the worst out over here
http://www.lemondrop.com/2008/09/18/the-worst-antm-makeovers-ever/

Some models have had to take place in photo shoots that would be nearly impossible to do and not look stupid. I always feel terrible for Megg Morales of Cycle 7, who was assigned the role of Bearded Lady when they did a circus themed shoot. I mean seriously I don't think there are many models out there who could have put on this makeup and pulled off a really great picture.
American Idol has really fallen down to this level in recent years. Honestly most of us just watch the casting specials to see a bunch of terrible people fail, or to see Simon's mean comments (or Paula acting all drugged out). Contestants aren't given much choice in music and sometimes have to compete in styles that are completely wrong for their voice. However despite the tacky over the top nature of the shows they have given raise to some actual talent. Not much mind you but there have been a few successful contestants from each show, and the embarrassments they go through really aren't too terrible.

After that level there are dating shows. Really this is where you should start feeling a bit guilty for watching. The shows intention is essentially good, there are few causes more noble then the quest for true love. But let's face it very few of the matches made in reality shows ever last. Why you ask? Well it's simple the dating show creates a completely fake environment, where people sometimes confuse their desire to win the game and come out as the top competitor with an actual desire to fall in love with someone. Most of us would never think of having potential mates eat disgusting things, run relay races, or do other degrading contests just to prove their love for us. In the name of good television a lot of shows purposely pair up people that aren't compatible, just watch an episode of "Blind Date" and you will see what I mean. Some shows purposely put on a bunch of outrageous characters, no one watched "Flavor of Love" because they expected a real romance to occur.

And last there is the most dastardly of reality shows. The shows that make you loose your faith in humanity, the shows that make you feel like a bad person. "Fear Factor", "Estate of Panic", and a few other dastardly creations have forever made me disappointed in my own species. Shows that exist for the sole purpose of letting us watch people suffer and degrade themselves for money and a small shot at their fifteen minutes of fame. I must admit I haven't seen it yet. But a good friend of mine just gave me a blow by blow account of what happened in an episode of "Estate of Panic". First off I don't know who came up with the idea for this. The idea of having people go into a room and grab all the cash they can't isn't really an original one, however the idea of having them do this in rotted meat is.

I know that we are in very bad financial times, but I will live in a box before I stuff handfuls of dollar bills covered in rotted meat down my pants especially on tv in the name of winning a show that has low probability of success. Literally I am ranking this show right up there with the Bush administration in terms of how embarrassing it is to the USA.

I know that every once in a while we all get that urge to look at things we should never look at. That strange impulse that makes it almost impossible to look away from a car accident, that morbid curiosity that fills your brain when you have difficulty processing if something is too horrible to be true. I urge you all to resist those urges and stop watching bad reality shows that only serve to torture and embarrass their contestants. I too have occasionally taken by the urge to watch "Shot of Love" to laugh at all the contestants. But I urge you all to stop watching these shows, if no one watches them they will stop making them. and even better the producers will no longer have to search for even more ways to shock and humiliate people in order to get good ratings.

So remember, unless it's a reality show which actually supports the development of talent, good reputation, or betterment human spirit DON'T FRICKING WATCH IT!

Happy Repeal Day!

December5th marks the day when the 21st amendment to the constitution was repealed, removing prohibition. In honor of that great day in American history I have decided to make today's edition of my blog on drinking games for movies.

Safety tips before we go. These games are all meant to be played with some sort of mixed drink, beer, or a wine coolers if you play them with actual shots you will die. Again I repeat do not play any of these games with shots of hard liquor. Even when using mixed drinks be careful, don't make them too strong, and if you feel like your reaching your limit stop drinking immediately. Keep an eye out for your friends and make sure they don't go overboard either, and make sure there are a few designated drivers around.

I think the key to a good movie drinking game is to have simple rules that are easy to remember, and they need to be games that can theoretically be done without dying.

Showgirls Drinking Game

Take a sip every time:

someone says darlin' or dancin'

anytime someone gets slapped

or when there is blatant lesbian innuendo

Warnings: This movie is pretty terrible, it should not be seen sober.

Lost Boys Drinking Game

Take a sip every time:

you see a taxidermy animal

you get distracted by Cory Haims atrocious wardrobe.

Bonus Points: Drink vampire appropriate drinks like Bloody Mary's, or red wine.

Highlander Drinking Game (any of the movies or the series)

Whenever they say "There can be only one" everyone in the room grabs their throats, last person to do it has to chug their drink.

Lord of the Rings Drinking Game

Take a sip when:

You see something on screen that makes you think there is more then friendship between any members of the fellowship

Anytime someone bursts out into song

Take Three sips when:

you spot Peter Jackson's Cameo.

Princess Bride Drinking Game

Take a sip whenever

Inigo Montoya says "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You Killed my father. Prepare to die."

Vizzini says "Inconceivable"

Wesley says "As You Wish"

anyone says "True Love"

Dark shadows... the movie?

This may just be a rumor but it made me so happy that I am just going to have to reprint this one. Rumor has it that Tim Burton wants to do a movie adaptation of the spooky 60's soap "Dark Shadows." And for the brilliant bonus, apparently Johnny Depp may be playing the lead role. Johnny Depp as a vampire, I approve.

I personally haven't seen much of the Dark Shadows myself, but I do know that it was quite a hit back in the day. If anyone can do a remake well it's Tim Burton.

Maybe something good has been brought up by all the Twilight madness, more vampire movies. Along with a possible Dark Shadows project in the future it seems as if there may be another vampire movie on the horizon. According to Mrs Laurell K Hamilton's official website, she is currently in talks for an Anita Blake movie.

I'm hoping both of these movies come out, the vampire genre has always been a favorite of mine. It would also be nice to have people see the genre done properly, not with nice sparkly "vegetarian" vamps. Vamps should be cooler then anyone in the room (obviously I'm not just talking about body temperature) , they should be seductive, and even the good vamps should be a little bit evil.

Twilight

I have gotten some comments from my friends about the Twilight Review.

I have to say now that I think about it, the movie is better then the book. But of course that doesn't mean it's a great movie.

The movie amplified my biggest problem with the book, which was the ridiculous obsessive codependent relationship between Edward and Bella.

I read the book back in '06 before it was cool. And somehow I forgot that the movie did take away a lot of the really terrible scenes like ones about Bella getting drunk off of Edwards very presence. Not to mention a few other scenes that were equally as ridiculous. It also made the characters slightly more likeable.

Yea I really do mean that Edward and Bella were even bigger ....I don't even know the right words to describe it

Douchebags, sticks in the mud, pompous, pathetic, creepy, emo as hell

I don' know take your pick from the above list.

Anyway the movie is a step up from the book IF your problem with the book is a technical storytelling one. My problem with the book is really more because I'm a feminist and I disagree with anyone glorifying a completely unhealthy romantic relationship. I hate the whole Bella/Edward relationship.

But in the name of being fair to the movie. It does make some improvements from the book.

But that ain't saying much as far as I am concerned.

Adventures in Japanese Television

I am a big fan of Asian Dramas. So far I seem to enjoy soap operas from Taiwan the best, but I seem to be most weirded out by the Japanese shows.

A while back I wrote an entry about "Princess Princess D" the show based on a popular yaoi manga that centers around a all male boarding school where the three cutest freshman are forced to dress in drag in order to help school spirit. I don't really know how they justify that one but continuing on.

This week I have managed to stumble across a show that may be even weirder. It is called "Kimi wa Peto" which apparently translates to "You are my Pet." Apparently it was also based off of a popular manga.

The story begins with a somewhat bitchey, high powered, woman names Iwaya who works at a newspaper. She is smart, beautiful, tall, and quite successful; which is why her last boyfriend dumped her. He felt too threatened by her success so he go another chick pregnant.

Anyway, Iwaya is walking home from work one day and she hears some strange noises coming from inside of a box. She opens the box to fin an injured young man. It begins pouring outside so Iwaya decises to take the poor fellow inside instead of calling an ambulance. Iwaya ends up taking care of him through the night. The young man is still asleep but in stable condition, so Iwaya leaves a note for the guy telling him that there is food in the fridge and that he can let himself out whenever he wakes up.

When Iwaya gets home she is surprised to see that the young man is still in her apartment. He essentially beggs her to let him stay. Iwaya is quite lonely and she suddenly gets an idea, she will let him stay if he is her pet. He will have to obey all the rules she has for him, but in return he gets a place to live and a food. Surprisingly he agrees to the deal. She names him Momo after a golden retreiver she had when she was little.

I'm not going to lie this whole premise creeped me out a bit. I mean she suddenly comes up with the idea of having a human pet, and somehow it's ok with both of them? I have got to admit the whole premise of having a human pet creeped me out a bit. However it's not the full reason I stopped watching.

Nope I stopped watching because of a very tedious love story going on between Iwaya and a former classmate of hers. Even more tedious is the psycho from the newspaper who is so desperate to get Iwaya's boyfriend (not to be confused with her Pet) that she not only sabbotages dates, makes very mean threats to Iwaya, makes up stories about an ex-boyfriend beating her so she can stay at the mans apartment, she also hacks into the mans computer so she can get to know him better. All I know is that if this happened in an American soap opera the psycho stalker would have had her ass kicked when she confronted Iwaya in the ladies room detailing her evil plan to break them up by any means nessicary.

Even if they didn't have the stalker Iwaya would have a pretty complicated relationship with her boyfriend. Trying to keep your boyfriend from finding out that your pet is really an attractive guy of dateable age is no easy task. I mean most sensible people would run away if they found out they were dating someone who had a pet human. To be fair Iwaya's relationship with Momo is not sexual (at least not from her side), but it still falls under the category of frickin weird.

The series explores how hard it is to be a modern woman on the dating scene, and how hard it is to find something like unconditional love. The show is kind of fun as a novelty, but after a few episodes I just couldn't handle the love story. Granted it probably began to get resolved in the few episodes after I started watching. But I hate watching things that you know are going to end up in disaster, and it certainly seems as if "Kimi wa Petto" is going to have more then it's fair share of things going horribly wrong.

And the Nominees Are...

The Nominees for the 2009 Spirit Awards are out and you can see the full list here

http://www.ifc.com/film/film-news/2008/12/2009-independent-spirit-award.php

My choices for the Spirit awards?

Well to be honest none of them. I am sad to admit that I havn't seen a single one of them. There are no indie theaters near by. The closest one is an hour away and generally only plays one or two indie films. And even then they only play the movies that have been given tons of press already. Right now their two selection are "Milk" which got tons of press because of Sean Penn, and "Slumdog Millionaire" which has been getting a ton of press.

The only thing on the list that even played in a theater near me, was "Vicky Christina Barcelona" I couldn't watch it. I'm sorry Javier Bardem looks like a caveman, I just can't take him seriously when he plays a romantic role. I really don't get why he was voted one of People's Sexiest Men. Ok, he scares me I'll admit it. I just don't want to see his big caveman face on the big screen. Hey even serious film buffs like me are allowed to have their quirks.

I also have an irrational hatred of Nicholas Cage for reasons I don't fully understand. I think it's mostly his voice....

Back to the main points.

That's always the sadness for me and independent film. You never hear about anything until it's already won some big award. Of course if your lucky and live in a cool artsy city you do have the opportunity to see films like this. Yet for most of us we never get to be trendsetters in film, we simply have to wait till things have received their awards and pray that they somehow find their way to our local video store.

So maybe a year from now I will have gone out and seen all of the wonderful independent movies that were nominated for the Spirit Awards, more then likely I'll forget to see the overwhelming majority.

Bloggers Unite

As some of you may know today is World AIDS Day. And on this day someone came up with a simple yet powerful idea to have all (or as many as possible) bloggers unite to help get the word out about AIDS. And as you may have guessed by now I am participating.



I know what your thinking "RenegadeFilmSnob, your blog is about movies and other trivial stuff. Why are you blogging about something serious like AIDS?"

Well kids, first of all I feel it's an important thing to do. AIDS is a very serious disease. There may be no cure for it, but there are ways of keeping it from spreading further then it already has.

Secondly, AIDS and HIV have had a definite impact on the movie and entertainment industries. I'm not just talking about "Philadelphia" and other movies about people living with the disease I'm talking about the actors and directors themselves.

Kevin Peter Hall is an actor who died of AIDS. His name may not be widely recognized but he played Predator in "Predator" and "Predator 2." Did you know that the Predator was originally supposed to be played by Jean Claude Van Damme. Can you imagine Predator being played by someone who wasn't 6ft 5, I didn't think so.

Rock Hudson was the first big celebrity to publicly announce that he had HIV. Rock Hudson starred in too many movies to name, was nominated for an Oscar, and won a few Golden Globes.

Anthony Perkins the actor most well known for playing Norman Bates in Psycho, died from complications with AIDS.

Robert Reed aka Mike Brady from the Brady Bunch was HIV positive.

Emile Ardolino the director responsible for the classic hits "Dirty Dancing" and "Sister Act" died from complications with AIDS.

Colin Higgins who wrote the amazing screenplay for "Harold and Maude" and directed the classic 80's flick "Nine to Five" died of AIDS.

Even The Muppets suffered losses. The characters Scooter, Beaker, and Sweetums were all originally played and voiced by puppeteer Richard Hunt, who died from AIDS.

What would have happened if all of these talented people had been able to live for just a bit longer. There are so many people who left this wold before they had a chance to show how talented they were, people who left the world before they could live up to their full potential because of HIV and AIDS. I'm writing this in their honor, because I'm sure they would not want anyone else to go through the same disease they did.

If it can happen to celebrities it can happen to you too. So remember if your going to be having sex use protection, get tested, and make sure your partner has been tested. If you use drugs never ever share needles. Be smart be safe, and if you want more information about AIDS, HIV, and how to keep yourself safe please go to one of the following sites

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv

http://hiv.drugabuse.gov/index.html

http://www.metroteenaids.org

Education is really your best defense against AIDS.

I feel that the real mark of a good movie is the desire to watch it again. I've seen a lot of critically acclaimed movies that never want to see again. I would rather gnaw my own arm off then see Wong Kar Wai's "Happy Together" (Chun gwong cha sit) or sit through another showing "L'Atalante." Of course I appreciated how artistic they were, the caliber of the performances, and whatever stunning technical assets the movie may have had. But that made them works of art, not entertainment.

My personal philosophy is that a good movie should have a bit of both. When you have artistic merit is something to be appreciated. If you want to make movies that are purely artistic then you should go for shorter length experimental films. Because having a very ideologically challenging movie is all well and good but if it has messed up pacing, irritating visuals, truckloads of pretension, or is depressing beyond belief I don't want to sit through more then an hour of it let alone see it again. You can still have a lot or art and meaning packed into something that doesn't make you want to kill yourself.

For me the mark of an excellent movie is when you still cry or laugh despite the fact that you have seen it before. If a movie can still get you emotionally, or comically after a few views that's when you know you've really got something great.

I must have seen each of the "Lord of The Rings" movies 10 times by now. Today I saw that TNT was running a marathon, and despite having more important things to do I couldn't pull myself away from the tv. This was just another reminder of how much I really love LOTR. I kind of hate to admit it, but I still cry every time when Eowyn says "I am no man." I don't know why that makes me cry every time, but it does so without fail.

"Lord of The Rings" is one of my favorite movies of all times. I consider Fellowship, Two Towers, and Return of the King to all be the same really long movie. After all, Tolkien himself wanted to publish Lord of the Rings as one giant book, the publishing company made him break it up into three parts. It takes a very long time to watch LOTR, and I mean really long because if you want to do it right you have to see the extended edition.

If you have never done so and have an entire day to waste I highly recommend doing a Lord of The Rings marathon. Don't be afraid unleash your inner nerd.

Do any of you have favorite movies that you can watch over and over but still get emotional about, or still laugh at the punchlines? Let me know what your favorite movies are.

Twilight Review

Before I begin I feel as if I should put on some sort of protective gear. Because before I know it the Twilight fans will be on the attack, and I want to be ready for them.

Now I didn't precisely hate the Twilight movie, there were parts that were fairly enjoyable, but I wouldn't call it a good movie by any stretch of the imagination.

I'll admit I walked into the theater with a definite prejudice against the whole Twilight Franchise. The movie really only served to amplify the problems that I had with the book to begin with. The books were fun enjoyable reads, but there was a side to them which I greatly feared. "Twilight" glorifies a very unhealthy, codependent, and obsessive relationship. Any artist is entitled to write about what they want, even if it is about something unhealthy. What concerns me is the age of the readers and fans. I knew that most of the fans were girls in their early teens and last night when I went to the theater this was only confirmed. I was one of the few members of the audience over the age of 20, and I would say that most of the people there were girls between 12-15. Of course the movie deserved it's PG-13 rating, there was some violence but nothing too objectionable in the film. What bothers me is that just about every girl in the audience was in love with Edward, that they wanted to have a boyfriend that was just like him, and worst of all that most of them seem to think Edward and Bella have the perfect relationship.

Perhaps I should back up and go back and explain how the movie even gets to this point.

In case you have been living under a rock I'll give you a little overview of the story. "Twilight" is about a girl names Bella Swan (OMG her name means Beautiful Swan) who moves to a little hick town in Washington. She meets this guy Edward who acts very strange around her, constantly warning her not to be his friend and such. Turns out Edward is a vampire, and honest to goodness sparkly vampire. But it's ok his family doesn't bite humans, so Bella is reasonably safe with them. Bella falls madly in Love with Edward, and Edward falls madly in love with Bella. This occurs for reasons I can't fully understand mainly Edward is really hot and overprotective, and apparently Bella smells extra tasty. But not all the vampires in the world refuse to eat humans, and trouble ensues.

The dialogue in "Twilight" is atrocious. I can only assume the screen writer wanted to make the dialogue "realistic" so they made every single conversation as awkward and disjointed as possible. The conversations were downright painful, there are very few people in real life that are that awkward when they talk.

Forget Team Edward and Team Jacob, I was on Team James for this movie. The only people in this film that were capable of speaking or acting semi-normally were the bad guys. Even when they were killing people, or hunting Bella down, at least I understood their motivations for acting this way. I can't say that for any other group in the movie. The bad guys are usually cooler then the good guys, but the good guys should never be this socially awkward. The overbearing amount of awkward makes the movie is almost hard to watch until the bad guys appear. The move definitely became more exciting to watch once all the action started happening. Go bad guys!

The special effects looked ridiculous. I actually burst out laughing (much to the annoyance of the people around me) when Edward grabbed Bella and went running with her. It was a bit like the roadrunner cartoons you just saw this torso and blur of legs, it looked so fake. I think they took the money they saved from getting a second rate screen writer and put it into a bunch of completely unnecessary special effects. There was a lot of excessive tree swinging from Edward. It was kind of like a five year old going "look what I can do" the scene didn't need it. Save the impressive stuff for the fight scenes, and the baseball game.

When Edward and Bella are in the woods it would have been a lot more effective of a threat if Edward had remained perfectly still, looked Bella in the eyes and said "As if you could fight me off." Instead Edward goes all manic and jumps about randomly ripping off tree branches. It kind of ruins it.

Another special effect that was disappointing was the sparkles. In the world of "Twilight" vampires sparkle in direct sunlight. The effect in the movie made it look like poor Edward had some sort of glandular disorder which caused him to sweat like a cold can of soda on a hot day. Bella and many of the other girls in the audience seemed impressed by this, I was kind of grossed out.

Another problem was that there were too many closeups. Now I personally find too many closeups kind of annoying, but I generally let it slide. This time I couldn't. I can understand that some directors feel the need to have closeups whenever someone is feeling an intense moment (which is almost the whole damn movie) but when a lot of your actors have to wear yellow costume contacts it's a poor choice. On the big screen you could clearly see the little telltale clear rings around the irises showing that the character is wearing contacts.

For the most part I found myself laughing at the movie not with it. So many of the scenes were so over the top that it was actually funny. But now I move onto the more dramatic flaws with the movie. I had some real problems with some of the characters and their relationships.

Despite being awkward as hell, and appearing to be completely disinterested in making friends or getting to know anyone in Forks, Bella is like a frickin rock star. I grew up in a fairly small town so it was always news when someone new moved in, especially if that someone happened to be attractive. However I never saw the school paper want to run a front page story about them, have every single person turn and suddenly want to date that person, and I especially never heard of a new person arriving and already having everyone know her name. Maybe it was just as bad in the book, but I found everyones worship of Bella in the movie quite irritating.

Speaking of worship, lets move on to the character of Edward. Robert Pattinson is one good looking dude, there is no denying that. But does being hot somehow excuse a guy from being creepy as hell? He has a good reason for acting creepy at first it would be hard to be nice to someone when it's taking every ounce of strength you have not to kill them and eat them. But after that Edward continues to be creepy as hell he sneaks into Bella's room at night to watch her sleep (before they are officially together and without her permission), he follows essentially stalks (the fact that he ends up rescuing her does not make it an ok behavior), and of course he says the magic creepy phrase "your scent is like a drug to me."

I went to see "Twilight" with my good friend Grammar Girl from the Trapped in a Comma blog. During one of the scenes I turned to her and said "He is so Creepy." The girls in front od us must have overheard and they said to one another "It would be creepy if it was anyone but Edward." I'm sorry kids being hot doesn't give you a license to be a stalker, the cops just won't care.

The whole Edward Bella relationship creeps me out. Their relationship becomes so intense so quickly. Going through situations where your life is in danger will bond people together pretty quickly, but this is ridiculous. Towards the end of the movie Edward mentions something about leaving Bella. Even at this small threat Bella becomes overwrought with emotion, and it's clear that she would absolutely fall apart if he were to leave her. That should not be used as a proof of how much they love each other, it is proof of how completely unhealthy the relationship is. I am afraid that all the young fans of this book are going to think that this is how love is suppose to be. All of this "without you I'm nothing" shit is in no way shape of form romantic, it's pathetic. You never want to be in a codependent relationship. You should want to be with your partner because you like them and enjoy their company, not because you know your life would be over if they ever left you.

My advice: wait till the movie comes out on DVD to see it. It's ok, especially for something in the vampire genre but it isn't that good. Also if you rent the movie you won't have to deal with a bunch of annoying ill mannered pre-teens in the audience. I don't know about anyone else but the theater I went to had kids that were very noisy, and whenever someone shushed them they talked back, eventually the ushers had to be called. Even the nicer quieter fans were noise, I was completely right in predicting there would be at least a few squeals of glee when Edward first appeared on camera, and various squees and sighs whenever Edward did something "cute" on camera.

It was fun to watch at times, especially since I was laughing at how ridiculous the movie was not at the actual jokes. All the same I kind of wish I hadn't spent $10 to see it.

Worst Music Video

When it comes to selecting favorites or least favorites it's very hard to be objective. After all a lot of what we define as good or bad depends on personal taste. Yahoo just came out with a list of the worst music videos ever made.

you can see the full list and videos here


While I don't necessarily agree with all of their choices I have to say one of the videos chosen for the list definitely deserved it's place there.



It is not an easy task but I will try to elaborate on why this is such a bad music video.

1. It's Vanilla Ice, need I say more.

2. To make matters worse it is a slow and "sexy" Vanilla Ice song.

3. This song made my ears weap.

4. There is no story only bad visual effects and random dancing.

5. Contrary to the early 90's belief the cloud graphic zooming behind Vanilla Ice is in no way "cool" or "sexy"

6. Turning the film to a blue shaded negative immage at completely random intervals is not "artistic"

7.I don't know why there are random men dancing in front of a sunset background. If you can figure it out please tell me why.

8. The costume designer clearly gets their design inspiration from the bastard demonic hybrid of Evil Knievel and every a bad Sci-fi movie.

9. It's clear they had a low budget and could only hire the models to "sexy dance" for a short time, and had to keep repeating footage of them.

10. I'm convinced the choreographer was horrified at the prospect of having to make any dance moves go along with the agonizingly slow pace of the song that they walked off set. Forcing the "talent" to come up with their own moves which consist of stepping from side to side, spinning, or giving the occasional pelvic thrust. None of which is in time with the music, then again they would have to be in slow motion to be moving at the pace of the song.

11. There is a part where the song breaks down and it's just Vanilla talking on the phone to a girl. They only had one phone booth to shoot with so they made Vanilla strut creepily outside the phone booth while he talks to the girl. Is this supposed to be romantic, because it just creeps me out.

12. The horror the horror

13. Make it stop now before I cause harm to myself.

14. Why will this song not end?

15. Why were there so many dance breaks in such a slow song?

16. Oh look the Clouds are back for no reason at all.

In many ways this video defies explanation. Why would they make a video for such a bad song? Who is the director and is he still alive, or did villagers storm after him with pitch forks? Who thought this was a good idea?

Thanksgiving

Today I was half tempted to spend my time writing an angry rant about how bad the "Get Smart" movie was. I don't know how you can take a bunch of great comedic actors, have a writing credit from Mel Brooks himself (ok so it's only for writing the characters but still), and turn out so completely terrible. But I'm not going to do it, well at least not in depth.

Today is Thanksgiving and on this day I have decided not to bitch more then necessary. Today is the day where we Americans take time to remember what we should be thankful for friends, family, and an abundance of food. On this day we put time aside to reconnect with relatives, spend time with friends, and throw any semblance of a diet out the window for just one day.

I suppose I have failed you in my holiday suggestions this year, for try as I might the only thanksgiving movie I can think to recommend is "Pieces of April." It stars Katie Holmes, and for once I actually really liked her performance. Katie Holmes isn't playing her usual goody-two-shoes type of role, she is kind of a punk with issues, but somehow she still manages to be completely lovable in this role. The story is basically about an woman who has become estranged from her own family, but decides to throw a big Thanksgiving dinner largely due to the fact that her mother is dying. Everything falls apart and it turns out her oven is broken so she must go around the apartment building begging her neighbors to let her cook a few things in their oven. Despite all of this there is a lot of humor in the movie, and it has a wonderful quirky cast of characters. Most of the funny moments come from Aprils Mother (brilliantly played by Patricia Clarkson) who is dying of cancer and the old grandma with Alzheimers. Granted I haven't seen many Thanksgiving films but I love the way this represents a dysfunctional family, that despite differences still loves each other.

So in an uncharacteristically sappy moment, I want to give thanks to all the people who helped to make film what it is. To the Lumiere Brothers for being true pioneers of the cinema, and for opening the first actual movie theater. For the brave souls who believed that sound would be more then just a passing trend in film. "The Jazz Singer" may not be a very good movie, but who can forget it's first spoken lines and indeed the first spoken lines in all of cinema

"Wait a minute you ain't heard nothin yet"

For the people that painstakingly painted film frames to let us view the screen in color for the first time. For all the technicians who developed greater technology and changed the industry, for all the visionary directors, the talented actors, brilliant composers, and everyone else who makes film possible. Thank you

Film allows us to visit far away lands, to better understand foreign cultures, to see the world in a new view. A good movie can change someones life, or spark the imagination. Film can let us escape our lives for a little while into a wonderful world of fantasy. Or they can finally allow us to feel catharsis so that we can better express and understand ourselves.

I think in many ways film unites us. How many times have you bonded with someone over a favorite show of movie, how many times have you been able to get someone to smile or laugh just by repeating a good line from a movie. We don't think about it but going to the movie theater is kind of a magical experience. There you are sitting in a room full of strangers. And despite never speaking to one another, despite coming from different backgrounds, for that hour and a half you are all experiencing the exact same thing at the exact same time. For that small moment you and everyone else in the theater are connected.

I'm probably a bit too romantic in my view of film, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm wrong.

Right now I just want to express my gratitude to film and almost everything that has to do with film. I would also like to express my gratitude to my readers, thank you so much for stumbling upon this silly little blog and giving it a chance.

So to friends, family and complete strangers I love you all and Happy Thanksgiving