Knowing 1/2 review

A friend asked me to review Knowing, largely because he had watched it and was so utterly disappointed by it that he wanted me to seek verbal revenge on the evil creature known as Nicholas Cage. In some ways I have failed, you see I didn't make it all the way through the movie. I took a bathroom break and never came back "Knowing" that there was no way for the movie to ever redeem itself. A good film critic would have walked back in there and finished their job, but I just didn't feel like it.

Let me start out by saying that I'm biased. I hate Nicholas Cage with a passion. In his very prolific career he has done two good movies (Moon Struck and Raising Arizona)a few decent ones, and many many bad movies. I know that somewhere out there he actually has fans but I just don't get it. He is a mediocre actor at best, his voice is annoying as hell, and honestly if it weren't for the fact that he is a Coppela I don't think he would have a career.

Now if you told me nothing about the movie Knowing and just showed me the first five minutes or so I would be really excited to see this. It starts out in the 50's with a very creepy little girl who frantically writes a series of numbers on a piece of paper due for a time capsule, and ends up disappearing in a basement where she is found with her hands covered in blood (presumably from trying to scratch away at the walls) begging for someone to make it stop.

That right there seems like the beginning to a really cool horror flick. Already I knew that everything from this point on is going to get worse.

Nicholas Cage plays a total loser. To be fair the hero of the story is a mathematician. So right off the bat you kind of expect them to be a bit boring and absent minded. To give him a bit of an edge they decided to make the character a functioning alcoholic, but it doesn't add much flavor to the text. A good actor would be able to make this character somehow relateable or worthy of pity, Nicholas Cage succeeds in neither. His acting for the entire movie has three speeds mumbling with the charisma of a tree stump, overreacting, he can also give a blank stare. A surprising amount of the movie is dedicated to showing Nicholas Cage staring.

One of my major problems with Nicholas Cage movies is that his character always managed to end up as the main character, even if this is not the best perspective to tell the story from. In "Windtalkers", which should have been about the Navajo code talkers who played a crucial role in WWII, they turned it into a movie about Nicholas Cage the white dude who just so happened to be a leader of their unit. Similarly in this movie the story would be a lot better if the movie was more about his son.

There is one scene were there are tons of creepy noises and the kid gets out of bed to see his front yard and a bunch of woodland creatures on fire.

Side note who though of that? They are sick. Sometimes in horror films a lot of fear comes from seeing disturbing images, but a flaming moose was just over the top.

So anyway instead of having the kid scream, or seeing the heart to heart where he tells his Dad that he is seeing and hearing some creepy stuff. They cut to Nicholas Cage in the front yard (which is not on fire) yelling for people to stay away from his house and angrily hitting a tree with a flashlight.

Really doesn't that about say it all. This is not a well thought out movie.

As much as I would like to I can't blame this all on Cage giving a crappy acting performance. The script is terrible, and the general plot idea just seems old and predictable. Nicholas Cages character should come off as being somewhat tortured but heroic, instead he comes off as being insane. Here he is trying to save people, but I still don't like him.

Honestly this piece of overblown garbage is just not worth watching. I mean there exists the possibility that I am wrong and that the movie somehow redeems itself in the end, but I really doubt that.

There are a few random hints of something more then the numbers going on in the background. Shadowey figures in the background, weird noises, and guys randomly pulling over and giving Nicholas Cages kid a black pebble. All of the numbers seem to perfectly correspond with bad things that are happening. But there is no possible way to resolve this movie and not have it be completely lame.

My gut instinct tells me that the writer of this saw "Signs" and read The Bible Code and thought he would blend them in some sort of unholy manner. I am betting that Nicholas Cage ends the movie believing in some sort of fate of higher power, and that all of this scary conspiracy stuff has been leading up to one big statement about spirituality or something like that.

Again I could be wrong. But honestly the movie has dug itself so deep into the reals of crappiness that it can not be saved. Apparently I walked out just before a scene in the subway which is supposed to very well done, but I feel satisfied having seen it in the movie trailer.