Worst Movie Ever

There are a lot of ways to judge a movie, and most of them can never be fully removed from ones own personal taste. Things that I love in a movie could be things that other people hate and vice versa.

Lists of the best and worst movies ever made are generally speaking pure bullshit. Especially when you consider that each group making these lists has their own agenda, not to mention critics are prone to be swayed by things like historical significance or current popularity. The experts can probably narrow down a range of 50 or so movies to be agreed upon as being the best of the best, but when it comes down to it it's all about how you personally connect with a movie.

Judging the top 10 films of all times and ranking them is a daunting task, but perhaps the more dificult task would be to truly rank the worst films ever made. Some of the worst movies ever made were shown once or twice, and I doubt people too too much care into their preservation. Who knows how many putrid wastes of celluloid have been reduced to ... well ... putrid wastes of celluloid. Never the less every year there seems to be a new movie being ranked as the worst movie ever made.

I can only truly speak for myself when I call "Red Zone Cuba" aka "Nigh Train to Mundo Fine" the worst movie I have ever seen.

The plot is both slow moving and hard to follow. There is no clear explanation or motivation available to justify anything that happens in the movie. The movie has two locations, The actors are so lacking in charisma and talent that it creates a vacuum effectively leaving the audience feeling drained. Perhaps worst of all it fails to be bad in a way that is in no way amusing.

I love watching unintentionally hilarious bad movies. Ed Wood was a master of making films so horrible that they ended up being somewhat charming or comic. "Red Zone Cuba" is not one of those movies. It's just terrible and painful to watch. Even with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version it was damned near impossible for me to sit through.

To give you a good idea of my tolerance for bad movies I am someone who has sat through "Gigli", "I Know Who Killed Me", "Manos Hands of Fate", "Glitter", "Plan 9 From Outerspace", "Kazaam", "Showgirls", and "National Lampoon's Gold Diggers". I managed to sit through all of them, but I could not sit still when I was watching "Red Zone Cuba." I am the ultimate couch potato and have no problem sitting down for a serious movie marathon, but I had to get up and begin cleaning my kitchen because I needed to do something other then simply watching or I was going to hurt someone.

Yep at my Bad Movie wine and cheese party "Red Zone Cuba" easily beat "Bells of Innocence" the Christian-western-horror flick for worst movie. As a matter of fact I have gained a new appreciating for "Bells of Innocence" because at least it has a plot and a few unintentionally hilarious moments.

I do not recommend watching "Red Zone Cuba". It was too painful for me to risk the second watching which would be necessary for me to write an in depth review. So I found the blog of someone crazy enough to write an actual review. http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Red_Zone_Cuba_1966.aspx

I know that saying "don't see this movie" is kind of like saying "don't look down" your first reaction will be to see the movie. Resist that initial reaction, because this movie has zero redeeming qualities.